New Blogs

I'm thinking today I will be adding some more blogs. One for my wedding that will detail the coming together of it up till the final day. The second will be my pregnancy. It will be filled with updates and fun facts as i go through up till delivery. The third one I would like to do would be a food blog similar to the one that Anita has. I was unaware that u could have several authors to a blog till I started poking around on Anita's other blogs. I know that i would love to get Jessica in on it. Her mom had so many wonderful recipe's that we should not let them be forgotten. The fourth I would like to do would be a crafty blog. I know both Anita and Jessica have expressed the whole getting crafty especially with the kids. So I'm excited to try and get these going and see where it leads.

This morning has been a good one so far. I'm starting to feel much better. I was able to get all the girls all showered, dressed and fed. Melody and Kayla are rocking out on Rock Band as I'm typing this. They are having so much fun. Kayleigh and Amber are playing without any bickering. I know its early to tell but i think maybe the house meeting we had last night has had a positive impact on the kids. Karl and I spent the week trying to restructure some household rules, chores and daily responsibilities. We have them posted on the wall and went through them in detail. We also addressed punishment. You do the crime, you do the time! We did however leave it to were the children have a right to plead there case in a reasonable matter.

I'm thinking that i might do some baking today and walk the girls up to the park. Its such a nice day out that i hate for it to go to waste by being indoors.

Another busy day.....

Today is shaping up to be another busy day. I'm having a small family get together tonight for Kier's birthday. I don't have much house cleaning to do. Just some simple straightening and cleaning up after myself as i go through the day. So far I baked the chocolate cake, made the custard filling and made the butter cream frosting. All by scratch. That was her request. I still have to assemble and decorate the cake. I'll probably be doing that in about an hour or so.
We are having hamburgers, hot dogs, vinegar and cucumber salad and a ranch and bacon pasta salad. Once again all by Kier's request. I got the vinegar salad made and all the fixings for the burgers and dogs are prepared. The meat has been mixed, marinated and all ready shaped into patties. That way when Karl gets home tonight all he will have to do is fire up the grill and throw them on. I must say that I'm already worn down and still a half day to go.
Yesterday was a bit of an eye opener at the Dr's office for Karl and I. I already had anticipated that I would be a high risk pregnancy judging by my others. Still I had the hope that this one would be treated normal until something went wrong. As it stands I am high risk and I have to go in every 2 weeks. I've had some other issues arise over the last few weeks that is really causing concern. I know that Karl is definitely worried and he is making sure that he is there for everything. The Nurses where all mush over the fact that he really listened and asked a lot of questions. They told me that i was blessed to have him in my life and that he was a keeper. I do agree :)
I had forgotten that we had actually made a trip into the Dragons Marsh in Riverside yesterday.
I decided to stop in and pick up a few thing to help elevate my moods. I know a concern raised over the questioner I took that i might already be depressed. It was the way it all looked on paper. I will say that I am not. I simply am just frustrated at the fact that I do not feel well. I don't have energy, I want to sleep but i have bad insomnia,I want to eat but food is not appealing to me. Oh and yes i do feel down some days but its because I'm tired of not being me. So I got some goodies. Oh and i got some ginger candy that is the bomb! It so takes away the nausea. I just need to remember to buy a lot when we go back in a few weeks. Karl likes the candy too. We ate a whole box yesterday.
I was hoping while we were there to pop in and visit our family attorney and my old employer Mark Blankenship. I was sad to find that his office was no longer there. I had heard awhile back that Mark was facing being disbarred. I guess it happened. Doesn't surprise me though. He was a glory lawyer and he fought dirty. I was happy to learn that his associates were still there and took over his firm but changed the name. I made an appointment for Karl and i to see them next Wednesday for some advice. I will be nice to sit down with Steve and brainstorm. We worked so well together that Mark called us his worst nightmare. This coming from a guy who could turn a nun into a crack whore and have you eating out of his hand.
Well I'm off to finish up my to do's.

Busy Day

So today i have been going non stop. It started at about 6:30 am and I've just been able right now to plant my butt in bed. Kayleigh is on morning class this week for parent teacher conferences. She had to be out the door @ 7:30. After we got her off to school Karl & I got some breakfast.
I had to make some calls that took some time. One was to find out what my blood pressure prescription was prior to the doctor removing me from it when i popped positive on the pg test. The bottle was 2 shy of being empty so i tossed it without thinking i needed it. I had this crazy questionnaire from Kaiser to fill out and that was one of the questions. With that out of the way i called school transportation to verify Kayleigh's drop off time for Kier.
I was then left to pay the deposit on Melody's party. They were unable to process the credit card last night so i handled it this morning. From there I made a few more calls to confirm attendance. So everything seems to be in order. Karl talked to Melody this morning and told her that we will be doing something special for her birthday next Saturday. He explained that this weekend was a bad one.
We headed out and started looking at cars. We are probably going to be buying a new one to replace his old one so we figured to start looking and sizing up the market. From there we went to my Dr apt. in Riverside. It was to do all sorts of paperwork and some mad labs. We picked up some food afterwards.
I got my last minute shopping for Kier's party and we ordered Melody's cake. It looks like everything is in order now and should follow through.
I did get to Jessica's and got the rug cleaner. She wasn't feeling well so i didn't stay long. I hope she is feeling better by the weekend.
Wow I'm tired so goodnight.

Birthdays and Such

With mine and Karls family coming together birthdays are a huge concern. We have Kiersten and Melody a day apart and Kayleigh and Kayla on the same day. Amber and the child I'm with will be the only odd ones out. I'm left to decide how to handle this.
I generally will have a small party at the house for my girls and family and then take my kids to a place of choosing for a fun day out. Kier always chooses Disneyland (a tradition now) while Kayleigh is still young that she does something different every year. This year i'm trying to figure out an even point and integrate his children into the birthday system I have. Originally we planned on taking all the kids to Disneyland this week for several days but had those plans smashed when Melissa announced that she was going to take all her girls separately on their birthdays to Disneyland. It was a good thing I waited on getting the season passes.
Like I had posted in an earlier blog we then decided to take just Kier and Kayleigh with us. So now I'm left thinking what to do for his kids. Since Melody will be gone tomorrow for her birthday I told Karl we should have a lil surprise party for her. I went ahead and got a hold of his family and since it was such a short notice the earliest i can get everyone together is on Feb 7. It works out well cuz my girls will be with their dad this weekend and they will be here the next and I have some time to get things together.
I'm not sure what to do for the others but i will have time to think. I do however need to get off the comp order Melody's cake, make the reservations and pay the deposit.

Left Overs

I decided to clean out my fridge today. I was a bit scared at first for I have super smell and knew something would be sending me to the toilet or even the sink to toss my cookies. I must say I got lucky. Nothing had gone bad yet and with a stick of gum in my mouth i held down them cookies. I did however get bothered by the amount of left overs i tossed into the trash. I was a bit ashamed the more i thought about it. You see it wasn't very long ago that I was having to budget my grocery bill. I had to make sure I had enough food for me and my girls. Nothing went to waste. I will say that i did fairly well. With my income i kept a 2 bedroom house, had my bills paid and food on the table. We were comfortable but cautious. When Karl moved in my budgeting days came to a halt. I know longer have to worry about what i am spending. Not to say I go crazy but I'm able to buy more groceries and not worry when extra items get thrown in the cart. With that being said i find myself buying more roasts and whole chickens and these are creating the left overs. They normally get tossed in the fridge and most of the time not touched until it goes to the trash. Well today i decided that all my left over meat shall make itself back to the freezer instead. That way i can save it till it can be used again. Jessica is my inspiration for this. I read a blog awhile back about her left over pot roast creating an amazing stew when she never anticipated on using it in the first place. Just sorta stared her down in the fridge and said hey throw me in that stew. So I decided I'm gonna save my left over roasts both pork and beef and that chicken. I might make a stew or even make some enchiladas. Yep another inspiration from Jessica. I figure this is a way to make sure all the food in the house is being eaten and not wasted. Just making a simple adjustment.

On a side note, I found the disc to rock band that i thought my brother had lost. So looks like my rock band will be up and going soon. I just have to pull it all outta the box and set it back up again. YAY!

My day

My day has been summing up fairly nice. I got a few more loads of laundry done as well as sorting some more clothing. I have my bread in my bread maker, yes my bread maker. I have to say I love it. Now don't get me wrong I like making bread by scratch but when u have a busy day like me its a big time saver. The only difference is the way looks. You can go the easy way and buy your bread in the box or use your own recipe, dump it in and let the bread maker do the work. I did not have any boxed mixes on hand so I made my own. Now I actually have some time and a free stove to make other things like my muffins. I'm going all out today. Well not really. When I make things like muffins I will make a lot. Then I will wrap them individually and freeze them. When it comes time for a muffin or two you simply pull it out and microwave for a few seconds. Another thing I do is make a lot of plain batter then separate it into small bowls. Then I will add something different to each batter. Today I will add blueberries, Chocolate chips, Cinnamon and apple chunks in separate batters, and as a treat for me the last batch will have some cocoa and crushed candy canes.
So far I have been able to continue baking which is a blessing, for Karl and my girls love all the goodies that come from my oven. I surprised Karl yesterday by baking him a cake to show my appreciation for all he does. I have known for the past few days that he has been craving cake and he was definately happy to come home and find one waiting for him. I must say it is nice to have such a wonderful man that loves my cooking. Not to mention the fact that he loves that Kier has picked up my skills to. For the times that I'm not around or not feeling well. Kier is shaping up to be quite a baker.
Well I'm off to get more done........

The House, Karl and I

So as of late my house has been out of control. The mess has grown. I have begun to start organizing and getting rid of things but it always goes that you will create more of a mess before u eliminate it. Eliminating it is becoming my problem.



Since my pregnancy if have felt extremely fatigued. It starts from when i wake up and lasts till I'm in bed. I also have this thing going on with my stomach. The morning sickness is not that bad. It comes and goes every few days. The nausea comes and goes also. What is bothering me is my disgust for food. I am unable to identify anything that would sound or even taste good. I sometimes think items will taste good only to find when i do eat it, its horrible. I am having to force myself to eat. That is not holding well either. I wait to long to eat and get those nasty hunger pains. Then i find my stomach is just messed up for the day. I'm just left with the horrible feeling in my stomach either way. I'm just not myself and i feel horrible.



I don't like feeling the way i do and I try everyday to get up and do something. get that smile on my face and get some errands and chores done. Its hard! At times disappointing. Especially when Karl and my kids get home. I'm left feeling that i have not accomplished what i should have. My house is no way spotless and something simple like cooking is a task i cannot do. I love cooking but I'm so disgusted with food that i can't even put a meal together anymore. I feel like I failed.



You see Karl has been very open about his past marriage. We talk about this at times so that we are able to learn from mistakes that both us and our exes have made. One of the things that he had disliked was the fact that his ex was adamant on being the housewife and not working. yet she never took care of the household in his eyes. He would talk about working long hours and always coming home to a wife walking out the door to get her freedom for the evening. His house was always filthy, kids not taken care of and meals never made. It hurt him that he would work so hard to find his money spent, accounts overdrawn, and his wife the homemaker not taken care of her end of things.



Now my feeling of fail er comes back to that story. I know that I'm no way near that but it still makes me feel bad when he comes home and my house is not as perfect as it should be and that i don't have that hot meal on the table for him. This is where i start feeling worse. He will come home and make me feel like the most amazing wife. He tells me not to worry that he sees i have accomplished a lot and he knows i was not sitting on my bum all day. He says he understands that I'm not feeling myself and asks what he can do to help. He will start to get dinner ready and do a few other simple chores around the house. He begins to start taking care of me, I'm told to go relax and asked if I need anything. If i need more to drink or if Kayleigh wants something he tells me he will get it.

Last night we were laying in bed and i turned to him and told him that he was the worlds greatest husband. He asked why and i simply said because you love me and take care of me. In return he told me that i was the worlds greatest wife. When i asked why he reply was the same. Because i love and take care of him.

I realized last night that my feeling bad over all this was coming from the wrong point of view. I shouldn't feel bad for him doing what he does nor should i tell him that it hurts me. You see i learned just by the words we said last night that its about how we complete the other persons life. How we fill them with love and appreciation that they become whole. We show it in different ways but when we feel those key elements, we don't mind picking up the little extra to do's.

That Warm Feeling

So today was my first OB/GYN appointment. It was at the Kaiser facility in Riverside. Yes that far away. I had taken an appointment there because it was the only one available so soon. The plan was to go and get established and then transfer to Moreno Valley. Upon being called to the back the nurse sat me down and started going over the questionnaire. She came across as a sweet caring, and fun person. She explained so much as she was going along that i felt very comfortable with her. The time came to call Karl back. We went to our room and i get stripped down for my vaginal ultrasound. Oh yeah i said it. A wand up the vagina, whoo hoo. It was not bad at all. My Dr, Dr Standley was a pretty cool guy. He explained everything he was doing and was super friendly. He did not have that clinical/bad manner that most doctors have. He did his thing and had Karl and I participating the whole way. It was amazing when he had me prop myself up and then had Karl move in so that we could see our baby. He got some amazing pics and took his time to point out everything. Afterwards we went to his office to discuss any issues or concerns and to break down the prenatal appointments. I have to say that I'm torn right now. My plan was to see a doctor closer to home yet i really like my doctor i saw today. So i have some thought to put into this. I will say going forward that my favorite part of my day was seeing the look on Karl's face while we were watching the baby. Especially when the heart beat was zoomed in on. It gave me that warm feeling.....

Faith

Who has it and why? Where does it come from? I have been feeling a lot lately that its something I'm lacking in my life. I'm believing as though for me to move forward, faith is what I need. Now for those who know me, know I'm am in no way religious nor do i identify with it. I do however believe in a higher power/being but have never associated it to one particular thing. I was brought up with morals and values that i believe in and continue to teach to my children. To me its just about being a better person. Yet for some reason I'm feeling more and more each day that I need to redirect my faith. I guess time will tell.

May my heart and soul lead me..............

Mental Health Break

So today I quit my job. It wasn't hard to make that call. Since the pregnancy I have been feeling so overwhelmed and stressed. I realized that it has affected me, the baby and my body. It has showed through in so many ways. It was clear I was on a downward spiral and my household is right in the middle.

I originally wanted to take a few weeks off but work would not allow it so i quit. I can very easily go back when i get things under control which has made me feel a lot better about my choice. Now all I have to do is gain my control back. That means my house, kids, and of course myself. I can assure you that.by the end of the month i will emerge victorious.

So by tonight or tomorrow i should have an outline of things to accomplish and steps i need to take control

Changes

Last night was a frightening night for me. It started off great. I had this craving for seafood and went to Red Lobster. I ordered the Ultimate Feast which is normal for me. I ate most of it and it was yummy. Everything was well until 30Min's later when i started sneezing like crazy. At first i thought it was something in the air but then my throat started to swell and my face and chest became itchy. I thought I could deal with it. Well it became worse.


Anita was my saving grace. We were in the middle of picking up Karl's girls when i found it hard to breath. I called Anita for help to see if i could get some benadryl down me. She told me yes but to drink plenty of fluids. It seemed like forever but finally I was able to breathe once i got it down me. So now what? I'm left thinking that i might have developed an allergy. Shellfish maybe? If so, that bites!

Rainy Saturday

So today I'm going to spend a Mother/Daughter day with Kier. We will be going to the mall and out to lunch. It should be a bit of a relaxing day. She has over 200 to spend. She really racked up the money over Christmas and the girl still has her birthday at the end of the month. Kiers thing right now is fashion so it will be a lot of clothes shopping. So off to shopping I shall go.....