Versions of Fairness
"Its not fair"
That's a phrase i have been hearing way to much as of late. To the point that i want to scream. Its down to kid verses kid with Karl and I in the middle. Everything from chores, computer time, bedtime, food, clothes, games, allowance, you name it. I find myself wondering how to move foreward without feeling guilty for what my girls have.
I have learned early on that if i ever wanted anything in life, i have to work hard for it. I don't expect money from the state nor do i expect money for free. I go out and i work my but off. I provide for myself and my girls. I always make sure that my girls are well taken care of before myself. They always have appropriate shoes, clothing and items essential for living. If ever i cannot afford it, i will take on another job or more hours.I always like having extra money so that i can do and buy extra things that we want rather then need. I cannot stress how hard i work for everything that i have.
My stepdaughters have been approaching my husband and I pointing out the unfairness of what my daughters have verses them. Its almost a grey area to me. For my view on this is that my household and thier household are much different. Incomes for instance play a big part in this. I don't think it is right that we must feel guilty for the lack of essential and luxury items my stepdaughters do not have. I know this might anger some but let me explain.
During my husbands divorce he was ordered to pay child support. Which he pays and has never been late on. He was also ordered to take on 90% of the marraige debt, which he is still paying. He pays for thier medical insurance and 50% of medical bills.See his ex did not work then and does not work now. Since my marriage i now am sharing the payments on his debt. She has remarried and has chosen to have more children. From what i understand her husband takes on the role of provider. Now don't get me wrong, i'm not downing her. Its her choice to be a housewife as its my choice to be a working mom.
With all that we still do more for his girls. We have gone out and bought clothing and shoes for them that we keep at the house. They have personal hygein items here. He pays for their wow and club penguin accounts. We try and take them places to eat and have fun when they are down. Mind u we have them 1-2 days a week and they live with thier most the rest of the time Somehow its not enough for them.
Its unfair that my girls get new clothes and they don't. My girls get an allowance for chores completed. We go out to eat without them. We go bowling, skating or to an amusement park without them. My kids got a new game or toy. The list goes on. I'm just wondering where does it stop?
I'm left feeling that it should not fully be expected of us to do all this extra providing. We have bills too. I have kids that live with me 85% of the time. But apparently i'm the bad one because i'm not including them in or providing for the 75% time that they are not with us.
That's a phrase i have been hearing way to much as of late. To the point that i want to scream. Its down to kid verses kid with Karl and I in the middle. Everything from chores, computer time, bedtime, food, clothes, games, allowance, you name it. I find myself wondering how to move foreward without feeling guilty for what my girls have.
I have learned early on that if i ever wanted anything in life, i have to work hard for it. I don't expect money from the state nor do i expect money for free. I go out and i work my but off. I provide for myself and my girls. I always make sure that my girls are well taken care of before myself. They always have appropriate shoes, clothing and items essential for living. If ever i cannot afford it, i will take on another job or more hours.I always like having extra money so that i can do and buy extra things that we want rather then need. I cannot stress how hard i work for everything that i have.
My stepdaughters have been approaching my husband and I pointing out the unfairness of what my daughters have verses them. Its almost a grey area to me. For my view on this is that my household and thier household are much different. Incomes for instance play a big part in this. I don't think it is right that we must feel guilty for the lack of essential and luxury items my stepdaughters do not have. I know this might anger some but let me explain.
During my husbands divorce he was ordered to pay child support. Which he pays and has never been late on. He was also ordered to take on 90% of the marraige debt, which he is still paying. He pays for thier medical insurance and 50% of medical bills.See his ex did not work then and does not work now. Since my marriage i now am sharing the payments on his debt. She has remarried and has chosen to have more children. From what i understand her husband takes on the role of provider. Now don't get me wrong, i'm not downing her. Its her choice to be a housewife as its my choice to be a working mom.
With all that we still do more for his girls. We have gone out and bought clothing and shoes for them that we keep at the house. They have personal hygein items here. He pays for their wow and club penguin accounts. We try and take them places to eat and have fun when they are down. Mind u we have them 1-2 days a week and they live with thier most the rest of the time Somehow its not enough for them.
Its unfair that my girls get new clothes and they don't. My girls get an allowance for chores completed. We go out to eat without them. We go bowling, skating or to an amusement park without them. My kids got a new game or toy. The list goes on. I'm just wondering where does it stop?
I'm left feeling that it should not fully be expected of us to do all this extra providing. We have bills too. I have kids that live with me 85% of the time. But apparently i'm the bad one because i'm not including them in or providing for the 75% time that they are not with us.
posted by ariesgurrl25 @ 1:39 PM
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